Merlin, 3.05 – “The Crystal Cave”

This episode opens with Arthur and Merlin being chased through a forest by a pack of bad guys. (Poor Bradley James – can you imagine showing up for this shoot? “Yeah, you gotta run all day. In chain mail. Why are you looking at me like that?”) They stop, pulling the ol’ “there’s a log, we can hide from the Ringwraiths there” trick, but it doesn’t work. Sweaty and out of breath, Merlin still has time to sass Arthur, and Arthur still has time to be a pompous ass back.

Merlin stops mid-run, as if he’s hit a wall; Arthur urges him on, and Merlin freaks out as he spots two huge wooden statues. Arthur says for Merlin to “trust him”; this place is cursed! Nobody will follow us in here. He’s proved oh-so-wrong as an arrow pounds straight into his upper back.

The bad guys move on, but Arthur has been felled; Merlin tries a few home remedies (and a few insults: “Dollophead, I need you to recover!”) and then gives up, using magic on the deathly pale Arthur. It doesn’t work. He tries a second time. No dice. Oh shit.

Merlin realizes he has Arthur’s blood on his hands, and cries into a pond. Suddenly, there’s an old man there, and he wants to know why Merlin is so sad. The old man tells him to dry his tears; this is not Arthur’s time to die. He introduces himself as Taliesin (fangirl squee!) and says that the moment of their meeting has been written in the stars for a long time.

A spell is chanted, and it takes the paleness out of Arthur’s skin. Taliesin tells him that he is now just sleeping, and asks Merlin to follow him yet again. He leads Merlin into a dark cleft in a rock face (insert your own joke here), and it turns out to be a cave full of crystals. Taliesin explains that this cave is where magic began. Merlin is freaking the hell out – not that we can blame him, considering how well his last run-in with huge, future-telling crystals went.

Just looking around causes him to see images. Morgana with a heavy crown; Merlin as an old, old man. He wrenches his eyes away. Taliesin tells him to look further.

He tries, but it’s disturbing, and he asks Taliesin to take him out. Taliesin all but tells him to grow a pair, telling him that there is a reason he was brought to the cave at this time, and only the crystals can tell him that reason. He finally gets Merlin to look again by saying “use what you see for good”, which you know by now is about the best way to trigger Merlin’s Chronic Hero Syndrome.

Merlin tries again, and it’s not pretty. Morgana, trying to calm a rearing horse; something red dripping from fingertips; Morgana doing the “walk of evil” down a hallway with her cloak pulled up; and Merlin, surrounded by flames, screaming. He pulls away again, scared. Look further, Taliesin urges him.

Morgana with an ornate dagger; more “walk of evil”; more red, dripping from fingertips; more flames, and a vision of Morgana, pulling a dagger over the sleeping form of Uther. Uther wakes, wide-eyed, and freezes. Merlin comes away rocking and crying, and demands to know what that was – but Taliesin is gone.

He goes back to where he left Arthur, who is now fine and in usual form. He tosses off a couple insults at his servant, but Merlin blocks them all. Arthur is left highly confused by Merlin’s lack of flirting back. (Oh, did I just say that out loud?) Arthur pesters Merlin, who treats Arthur like he’s a four-year-old begging to go to McDonald’s. Arthur even tries complimenting Merlin (!), but again – Merlin’s not having it. In fact, he reminds me of me, with raging PMS and a dearth of chocolate.

They get back to Camelot, where Arthur yet again compliments Merlin – to the King, even! (Arthur, honey, what is wrong with you?) Uther is just glad to have his son back in time for Morgana’s birthday feast tomorrow. Great priorities there, Uther! Your son just got chased through Sherwood Forest by bandits. Arrow in his back? Pfft. Who cares, when you can party with Morgana?

We then cut to Merlin explaining everything over dinner to Gaius. Gaius is taken aback, saying that very few magic users have ever seen the cave. He tells Merlin that Taliesin was a seer who died 300 years ago. Merlin is still freaked out, arguing that the events he saw must be imminent, and Gaius argues that they probably aren’t – crystals are tricky little assholes, apparently.

The next morning, Arthur is up early – yay, it’s Morgana’s birthday! – and he tells Merlin he’s out to go buy her a present. What is it? It’s a secret. Oh yeah, and it’s a dagger. He bounds off with far more joy at the task of present-buying than he should have. (Writers, do you still have someone hanging on that Arthur/Morgana ship? I thought that sank a while back.)

Merlin goes outside, and… oh crap. He sees one of his first visions – Morgana trying to calm a rearing horse. He runs to Gaius, who tells him to quit freaking out. You’re overreacting, Merlin! (This is my only criticism of this episode; Gaius is not entirely himself. He’s usually the one standing firmly behind Merlin, and in this one, Merlin’s on his own.)

We go back to Arthur’s apartments so that Arthur can hand out a few verbal smacks, and to see Arthur’s present. It’s a dagger, alright… but it’s very plain, and Arthur has bought it based on sharpness. Merlin makes fun of him for not getting Morgana something girls like, like “something pretty”. Part of me is going “yeah, Prince Dumbass, we like the sparkly stuff,” and half of me is going “screw you, Merlin, I like swords!” (Merlin doesn’t care for my commentary, apparently. When I yelled it at the screen, he ignored me. Bastard.)

There’s a funny bit with Merlin and Gaius – Merlin twirls like a girl, and asks “How do I look?” (Gaius: “…Like you always do.”) And suddenly, we’re at Morgana’s banquet. She opens Uther’s present, and it looks like King Giles was smart – he came with sparkly things. She opens Arthur’s gift, and it’s not the dagger that we expected; it’s the ornate dagger from Merlin’s visions. Morgana loves it. Arthur confesses that Merlin’s little “girls like sparkly things” talk made him return his purchase. Good going, kiddo!

Merlin goes back to Gaius freaking out, and Gaius tries to talk him out of it again. He runs off, stating that they’ll have to watch Morgana in turns, and hides in her quarters behind a tapestry. (Oh, the jokes I could make….)

Gwen and Morgana are going over her haul, which includes several hairbrushes and a mirror from a “King Gromause”. Gwen doesn’t know who that is, because anagrams have not been invented yet, I guess. Morgana gives Gwen an embroidered handkerchief, and Gwen leaves with her new pretty. Morgana breathes on the mirror, and text is revealed – “Sister, come to the darkling woods at midnight. – Morgause”.

Later on that night, Merlin quits doing whatever he’s doing behind her tapestry and catches Morgana leaving, tucking her new dagger firmly into her belt. We see the “walk of evil” from Merlin’s visions, and Merlin follows her. As she comes to Uther’s door, he magically shuts it and brings down a torch, causing Morgana to fall down a flight of stairs. She’s bleeding from the head and passed out.

Merlin, Arthur, and Gwen bring her to Gaius, and the outlook is not good – her breathing is faint, and Gaius has no way to bring the swelling of her brain down. When they’re gone, Gaius goes to Merlin, who is very upset with himself. He wanted to stop Morgana, but he never wanted to hurt her.

The next morning, Uther is by Morgana’s side automatically, and Merlin watches a very intimate moment as Arthur holds Gwen as she cries. Arthur comes back into his room, and he’s so upset that he can’t even unbuckle his sword belt; Merlin has to do it for him. Sorry, Arthur; this is one foe that can’t be stuck with the pointy end of a blade. (And sorry, Arthur/Morgana shippers! You’re sunk. He specifically says “she’s like a sister to me”. There are people upset on the Internet tonight, I’ll tell you that…)

We see Gaius and Uther by Morgana’s bedside again, and Uther tells Gaius to do whatever is necessary to save her. Whatever is necessary, you hear? And if you didn’t get that, he says he doesn’t care if Gaius uses magic. Gasp.

More gasps – and the third point of bringing Merlin more in line with conventional Arthurian mythos comes in. Uther confesses that Morgana is actually his daughter. Her dad, Gorlois – his best friend – was away fighting, and her mother, Vivian, “grew lonely”.

Hey Merlin? I’m growing really freaking lonely. And I have friends for your master who are really freaking lonely too. Ha. I think that’s gonna be my new euphemism. “Hey honey? I’m GROWING LONELY. What do you mean you don’t get it? It was on Merlin!”

So Morgana is truly Arthur’s half-sister! (Morgana/Arthur shippers, hold on to that mast – if this is happening, the seduction of Arthur just might happen. I’m not holding out too much hope, but I know that normal hope and shipper hope are two totally different beasts, and I won’t deprive you of that sliver. And if you’re grossed out by that statement, then you’ve either never read Arthurian legend, been on the Internet, or watched Supernatural.)

Uther confesses that nobody must ever find out – especially Morgana – because it would jeopardize Arthur’s claims to the throne. Can’t say I blame her; Queen is a pretty kickass title. Uther softens for once, and becomes a loving parent, asking why this has happened to someone he cares for so much. He begins to cry, and Merlin leaves, only to stand in the rain and watch Arthur impotently try to beat the shit out of a training dummy.

Meanwhile, Gaius says that she’ll be dead by morning, and he comforts Gwen. Merlin flees into his room and cries – and then gets an idea.

It’s nightfall, and he sneaks out into an open field. And who should show up? It’s the Asshole Dragon! (I actually thought he was going to get Morgause!) The Asshole Dragon pretty much says “Yeah, Morgana tried to take over? No shit. And she’s dying now? PARTY TIME!”

Merlin tries to argue, but the Asshole Dragon’s already got his party hat on. He reveals that he already knew that Morgana was Uther’s daughter, and says that Morgana must die. Merlin grows a pair, pulls rank, and commands him to heal Morgana. The Dragon says “fine, but the evil that follows is of your doing.” Hate to say it, but I think the big guy’s right this time…

He passes on the power to heal her, and after thinking about it for ten seconds, Merlin uses it. Morgana wakes. Gaius discovers her sitting up the next morning, with Uther hugging her, and everything is unicorns and rainbows. Uther thanks Gaius, but Gaius tells him he did nothing. He then says “of coouurse you didn’t”. No, really, Uther; he didn’t.

Merlin confesses that he couldn’t watch everyone’s grief, but Gaius cautions him – he’s playing with things that are beyond him now.

There’s a touching scene between Uther and Morgana. You think, for one moment, that Morgana might just go back on the evil plan – and then she realizes who her real father is. With that comes the terrible realization that she’s been denied princesshood all her life, along with her real family. Uther’s not going to quit lying to the court about it, either, and says that all that matters is what he and Morgana think. Um, King Giles? You’ve got something right for once, but you’re not even near on the same page as your daughter. And with that, the Red Cloak of Evil goes back on, and Morgana’s off. She comes across a Red Shirt Cape, and he dies. His flagon of red wine spills across the floor.

Morgause has made it into the castle, and stops her. Morgana tells her what’s going on, and Morgause is overjoyed – according to her, this is fantastic! Now Morgana’s claim is legitimate. Morgause tells her not to do anything rash, and runs as the warning bells sound and the dead knight is found.

Meanwhile, Gaius, Arthur, and Merlin find the dead knight. Gaius reaches down and into the wine – and we get another snatch from Merlin’s vision as wine drips off Gaius’ fingertips. Merlin is horrified as he realizes that he stopped nothing. He runs to Morgana’s chambers, and tries to keep her there. Her instinctual magic comes into play, and he is flung against a wall as a torch falls, and the room is set on fire.

He wakes as she does her Official Walk of Evil, and screams at the flames. Another vision down. He scrambles after her, and reaches her just as she’s about to plunge the dagger into a sleeping Uther. He stops her by magically blowing out the windows, and Uther wakes. She claims she was scared – there was a fire, Daddy! – and kicks the dagger under the bed.

Merlin goes back to Gaius, where he worries on about causing everything. Gaius is finally with the program, and he cautions Merlin to watch out for Arthur – Gaius thinks Morgana knows about her parentage now, and she’s the only thing standing between Arthur and his throne if Uther were to die.

I don’t need a crystal to tell me King Giles is not long for this world.

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Images via infinte_muse on LJ.

Next week’s gonna have yours truly facepalming a LOT. It seems to be trying to bill itself as a “good Arthur/Gwen” episode, but it looks like it’s just shy of the “love spell” plot that they’ve used several times now. After this week’s angst and pain, it’s definitely going to be a breather episode, but I doubt it will match “Goblin’s Gold”-funny levels. We’ll see. Cautious optimism.

Also, FYI – I am a die-hard reader of TVTropes.org, a website that deconstructs works of fiction and slices them up into their base plot devices (tropes). It’s snuck into my vocabulary; some of the terms I use, like “Idiot Ball”, “Chronic Hero Syndrome”, “Moral Event Horizon”, and “Breather Episode” come from that website. I highly recommend it; it’s a fantastic tool. Warning, though: it’s like Wikipedia surfing. You start out on one thing and you come out on something completely different, hours later. Need a starting place? Try Merlin’s main article.

And, last thing: Here’s an extra treat. From “Merlin: Secrets and Magic”, backstage footage of Colin Morgan and Bradley James being complete dorks to a bad ’80′s power ballad.

See you next week!