I miss the days of Saturday morning cartoons. I really do. Sure, if you have a decent cable package there’s bound to be cartoons somewhere any time you like, but it’s not the same as getting up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning and watching your week’s worth of cartoons in four and a half hours. My parents were indulgent enough (and liked their Saturday lie-ins) to let me watch most of the time. And one of my all-time favorites was “Dungeons & Dragons”.
Based on the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game (before it became convoluted by numerous editions and a library of source books), the series follows six children from our world who are transported to the Realm by an amusement park ride where they are immediately set upon by Tiamat, the five-headed queen of the evil dragons. Before she roasts, electrocutes, poisons or otherwise dispatches our helpless protagonists, in steps Dungeon Master, the diminutive sage with vast powers and a penchant for riddles. He dubs each in turn Ranger, Barbarian, Magician, Thief, Cavalier and Acrobat and gives them magical equipment to help them protect themselves. They also meet Uni, a baby unicorn, who bonds immediately with Bobby the Barbarian, the youngest of the group. They also come face to face with Venger, “the force of evil”, who is the antagonist for most episodes and sounds a lot like Optimus Prime.
Most of the episodes followed the same structure. Dungeon Master appears from nowhere to tell the kids there’s a way for them to get back to their own world, but he can’t tell them straight out, it’s always in riddle form. Something like, “When it’s darkest, look to the light.” The kids press him for answers or pepper him with more questions but, while the camera is on them, he disappears leaving the kids confused. Once they think they have it puzzled out, they proceed to what they think is their destination, finding a promising new ally along the way. But their new friend isn’t what he/she/it seems. The kids eventually find their way to a door or portal showing them the way home, but they invariably must deny themselves the chance to get home in favor of helping the helpless or stopping Venger or another baddie from getting their magic weapons or being able to cross over into our world. Then Dungeon Master shows up again and helps them resolve the lesson they learned and lift their spirits by telling them they will get home eventually.
Fairly formulaic kiddie stuff, right?
Sure, the voice acting was a bit off at times (Presto squeaks nearly constantly), but there were some 80s stars in it! There were two actors from “Eight Is Enough” and one from “Happy Days” as well as the aforementioned voice of Optimus Prime. And there’s a bunch of voices of the “I’ve heard him everywhere, but I couldn’t tell you his name” variety. And yes, the plots of some episodes were formulaic (okay, many episodes) but some were outstanding and offered a breadth and depth of emotion not found in your usual Saturday morning fare. And I was just starting to play D&D when the cartoon was on the air so the little proto-geek I was squeed at the mention of Tiamat, Warduke, Kelek and beholders.
The last time I saw any episodes of “Dungeons & Dragons” was years ago. I saw they were on DVD now but, despite my love for them in the day (and OH, it was strong! I had a coloring book and colorforms, the works!) I was afraid it would be just like all my other favorites from when I was a kid. Scooby-Doo, Voltron, the Super Friends, none of those have stood the test of time for me. I was so afraid I would look at D&D like the rest of them and say, “Geez, I watched a lot of crap as a kid!” So instead of plunking down the money, I rented the complete series from Netflix.
And you know what? I still loved it.
Sure, it’s kinda cheesy (Hank has feathered blond hair, fercryinoutloud!) and the masters were kinda wonky so it’s VHS quality at best, but I LOVED IT. I felt like I was 12 again and, even better, I found I still squeed in all the same spots. The Cloud Bears were still a cheesy-cute Ewok rip-off, the Dragon’s Graveyard was just as chilling as ever and Uni is still cute as the dickens. It was if I had gone back in time – the epitome of escapist fantasy.
I can’t guarantee watching “Dungeons & Dragons” will have the same effect on you, but it sure worked a treat for me! The discs have all gone back to Netflix now (other DVD-by-mail services are available) but I’ve got the box set at the top of my list to buy when I get the chance. If you rent them, I highly recommend getting the extras DVD too. They’re great!
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