Beware spoilers for the book series!
HBO’s new series Game of Thrones is—without a doubt—the most highly anticipated television show of the year. It’s going to be huge, in a literal sense. Production of the pilot alone is rumored to have cost HBO up to $10 million; and the cast list is longer than my arm. Each episode will feature nearly twenty “starring” cast members, all with photos by their names in this post. (As a point of comparison, NBC’s “Heroes” maxed out at 15 starring players.) So, even if you’re familiar with George R.R. Martin’s novels on which the series is based, you might find yourself asking, “Who the fuck are all these people?”
HOUSE STARK: Winter is Coming
EDDARD “NED” STARK (Sean Bean): Don’t call him Boromir. Ned Stark is the fatherly “moral center” of the series. He’s not exactly the type to make a grab for the Ring of Power, which is kind of unfortunate since he just got a plum political appointment—Hand to the King (a sort of chief advisor/administrative position). Expect his plotline to be Mr. Stark Goes to Washington but with added sex and violence (realism?).
REMINDER: 90 percent of the precocious youngsters in the series belong to him.
CATELYN “CAT” STARK nee TULLY (Michelle Fairley): Ned’s devoted wife and mother of his five children. Cat is probably more politically savvy than her husband, but she’s still hamstrung by the whole “having a conscience” thing. Expect her to be baffled by the stupidity of others (particularly those related to her) throughout the series.
FANGIRL ALERT: Fans of the book series aren’t typically kind to Catelyn, mainly due to her distrust of Ned’s bastard son, Jon Snow. The b-word has been bandied about, but if you want to see real ruthlessness wait until you see how Cersei handles her husband’s bastard kids.
ROBB STARK (Richard Madden): Eldest Stark child and Ned’s heir. Robb will have to fill Ned’s shoes when he goes to King’s Landing. He’s very pretty looking and isn’t a sociopath, so he gets the fangirl seal of approval.
SANSA STARK (Sophie Turner): Second eldest Stark child, betrothed to Prince Joffrey Baratheon. Sansa’s basically the girl who has too many Disney Princess toys and is shocked to find out Cinderella is expected to do work. She buys into the “chivalry” nonsense about knighthood and is in for a rude awakening.
POINTING OUT POSSIBLE PEDOPHILES: Keep your eyes on certain older men at court. Are they paying undue interest in young Miss Stark? Discuss amongst yourselves.
ARYA STARK (Maisie Williams): Third Stark child, younger sister of Sansa. These two sisters couldn’t be more different so expect some squabbling amongst the pack. Arya is one tough chick; Jon gives her a sword (jokingly called “Needle” and her father lets her keep it) so she won’t go down without a fight. She’s formidable even at age 9 so I fully expect her to be a fangirl favorite.
BRANDON “Bran” STARK (Isaac Hempstead-Wright): Fourth Stark child, second eldest male. Bran’s just a boy but he plays an important role in the conflict between House Stark and House Lannister. (You’ll understand what I mean after the first episode airs.) Even after that, he’s a pivotal character. Young Hempstead-Wright has one of the most difficult parts. But while Bran is frail, he may be wiser in the ways of the world than older brother Robb.
WATCH THE BIRDIE: In Westeros, the word “crow” can refer to the bird as well as a man of the Night’s Watch.
RICKON STARK (Art Parkinson): Youngest of the Cat and Ned’s kids. Little Rickon is not expected to be a regular character so thankfully I don’t have to write much about him. However, he’s a tiny firecracker. Watch out; he bites!
JON SNOW (Kit Harington): Jon was raised at Winterfell as “brother” to the Stark kids, though he’s bastard born. Neither Jon nor Catelyn know who Jon’s mother is, that’s a (rare!) secret Ned is keeping. Theories about his parentage abound, but it has never been formally resolved in the books. It’s worth noting that since his mother is a mystery, Jon has effectively had only one parent in his life. Is it possible to be too much like Ned?
HOUSE LANNISTER: Hear Me Roar
TYWIN LANNISTER (Charles Dance): Lord of Casterly Rock and just as hard as said rock. He is possibly the most powerful lord in all of Westeros, so just about everyone fears him. Tywin is not the doting father that Ned Stark is, and it shows in the personalities of his children.
CERSEI LANNISTER (Lena Headey): Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, Eldest of Tywin Lannister’s three children. Cersei is truly and unrepentantly ruthless (and that makes her kind of awesome). She is the originator of the show’s tagline “You win or you die” and she intends to kill all her competitors. She would do anything to protect her three children, like Catelyn Stark would. Cersei’s idea of family is a bit different though; she has odd, but different, relationships with both of her brothers.
JAIME “Kingslayer” LANNISTER (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau): Knight of the Kingsguard (Medieval Secret Service) and murderer of the last Targaryen king. Jaime is Cersei’s fraternal twin brother. His tongue is as sharp as his sword, and he has some of the best lines in the books. Jaime starts out the season by doing some fairly bad stuff, so viewers not familiar with the books might wonder why he is such a fan favorite. You’re just going to have to read the books. … Or look at him. Pretty.
TYRION “The Imp” LANNISTER (Peter Dinklage): Second son of Tyrion Lannister. Here’s one character you definitely don’t have to worry about confusing with any of the others. Tyrion was born a dwarf, which was considered judgment of the gods in the Middle Ages, so his father is less than fond of him. (Fortunately author George RR Martin says Tyrion is his favorite character to write, so he’s not completely unloved.) Tyrion’s strength is his wit and cunning; he can talk his way out of just about any situation.
FRANK MILLER SEAL OF APPROVAL: Since he finds it hard to attract the ladies, Tyrion has an affinity for whores, whores, whores.
HOUSE BARATHEON: Ours is the Fury
ROBERT BARATHEON (Mark Addy): Current King of Westeros, former childhood friend of Ned’s, married to Cersei Lannister. In an epic battle, Robert killed Prince Rhaegar Targaryen (heir to the throne) after Rhaegar made moves on Robert’s betrothed, Lyanna Stark. Then Jaime finished off the previous king and –whoops–somehow this guy has the best claim to the throne. Robert isn’t very interested in being king; he hates his queen (for she is not the long-dead Lyanna, whom he angsts over); and he’s bad at political stuff. In some ways, King Robert is tragic or pathetic. I’m interested to see how Mark Addy plays the gruff king, since he’s mostly known for comedic roles, like when he was one of those naked guys in The Full Monty.
RENLY BARATHEON (Gethin Anthony): Robert has two younger brothers. The first one, Stannis, won’t be seen on screen unless we get a second season. However, the youngest Baratheon brother will make his presence known. He was very young when Robert won the throne and has some odd ideas about what being king is about. But he is good at currying political favor, so he could be a useful ally.
THE BACHELOR: Unlike his two brothers, Renly isn’t married nor is he betrothed to anyone. Since this show is on HBO, we might just see why.
JOFFREY BARATHEON (Jack Gleeson): Heir to the Throne, general dipshit. Joffrey is very much like his mother, Cersei; but he also displays Robert’s lack of political acumen and angry temper. Basically, Joffrey is the worst kid you can imagine, not exactly the Prince Charming Sansa Stark expects him to be. Oh, this will go well.
TOMMEN (Callum Wharry) and MYRCELLA BARATHEON (Aimee Richardson): I expect these to be small parts, but it’s worth noting that Joffrey does have a brother and a sister. They are both adorable, so the gene pool wasn’t all bad.
SANDOR “The Hound” CLEGANE (Rory McCann): It won’t be hard to identify Sandor. He’s the really tall guy with hideous burns on half is face. He’s also the protector of Prince Joffrey, which means he has to do a lot of horrible things at the prince’s bidding. You might expect him to be a monster, but he’s more like the Beast from “Beauty and the Beast”–all tormented and misunderstood. And, yes, he has claws.
BROTHERLY LOVE: Sandor has an elder brother, Gregor; but they aren’t exactly loving. Imagine what kind of house Gregor runs if Sandor is willing to take a job doing dirty work for a little shit prince.
HOUSE TARGARYEN: Fire and Blood
Viserys Targaryen (Harry Lloyd): Remember that king Jaime Lannister killed? And the prince Robert Baratheon smashed? Well that king had another son and that prince had a younger brother, Viserys. He was only a boy when Robert assumed the Throne. A lord loyal to House Targaryen spirited him and his newborn sister away to another continent. Needless to say, Viserys is a bit cranky and frustrated about the fact that he is not king, when he was technically next in line. Not many little boys have armies, so he’ll need to get one.
IT’S MADNESS!: Viserys’s father, Aerys, is often referred to as “the Mad King” because he wasn’t the sanest fellow you could meet. According to the books, whenever a Targaryen is born the gods flip a coin to see if the child will achieve greatness or madness. Let’s just say Viserys is leaning dangerously in the latter direction.
DAENERYS TARGARYEN (Emilia Clarke): Daenerys Targaryen was born after her father was killed by Jaime Lannister. She has never known the Seven Kingdoms; she only knows what her brother has told her. She is rather sheltered at the start of the series, but things will change rapidly for her. Viserys decides to eschew the tradition of Targaryens intermarrying (incest–it’s canon now) and marry her to a warrior, in the hopes of gaining that army I was talking about earlier.
FROM AN EGG!: Daenerys has one–well, three–expensive links to her family’s former glory. She is the owner of three petrified dragon eggs, rarer than any jewels. The eggs represent a lot of things, but for now let’s just go with the obvious: Dany is going to become a mother.
DROGO (Jason Momoa): Khal Drogo is the barbarian warrior that Viserys sets Dany up to marry. He doesn’t speak the same language as Dany, initially, so expect to see a lot of Jason Momoa being the strong, silent type. Also, he doesn’t seem to wear shirts. Not that this fangirl is complaining, nor do I imagine Dany will be for long.
A NOTE ABOUT TITLES: “Khal” is not Drogo’s first name; it’s his title, roughly equivalent to king.
JORAH MORMONT (Iain Glen): House Mormont is sworn to House Stark, in the North. Years ago, Ned Stark banished Jorah Mormont and he fell in with the Targaryens in exile. He’s got an axe to grind with Ned, and eyes for Daenerys. Do not confuse him with JEOR MORMONT (James Cosmo), who is his father. Jeor, called “the Old Bear”, is very far away from his son–he’s Lord Commander on the Wall, with Jon Snow and Benjen Stark.
THE SMALL COUNCIL (King’s Advisers)
JON ARRYN: This guy is dead at the beginning of the series; his murder sets the course for war. He was Hand to the King before Ned, as he raised both Robert and Ned at House Arryn’s seat, the Eyrie. As if being dead wasn’t bad enough, he is married to LYSA ARRYN nee TULLY (Kate Dickie) who is Catelyn Stark’s sister and crazypants (that’s the technical term).
LORD VARYS “The Eunuch,” “The Spider” (Conleth Hill): Varys is the bald guy. No one seems to trust him but he pretty much runs the show in King’s Landing. Sometimes Varys will be on House Stark’s side, and sometimes on House Lannister’s but he doesn’t swear allegiance to either. Varys has his own agenda, which might very well be a good thing.
GRAND MAESTER PYCELLE (Julian Glover): The Maesters are learned men trained at a place called the Citadel. They are doctors, scholars, and historians. The “Grand Maester” is the grand poo-bah of maesters. Technically, Pycelle should be devoted to reason and learning; that is not necessarily the case. You’ll know him by the long beard–for now.
PETYR “Littlefinger” BAELISH (Aidan Gillen): Baelish is the Master of Coin, basically the treasurer of the realm. He’s called Littlefinger because he hails from the smallest of a group of islets called “The Fingers” (get your mind out of the gutter!). Littlefinger was raised as a ward at Riverrun with Catelyn and Lysa Tully, and it is well-known that Baelish wanted to marry Catelyn before she ended up with Ned Stark. In this way, Littlefinger is a perfect foil for Ned. While Ned blunders through the politics of the realm, Littlefinger never does anything without knowing the consequences. Ostensibly, he starts the series helping Ned at Catelyn’s urging, but never forget he has his own plans. In the first book, Littlefinger attempted to be as unobtrusive as possible, but from the clips of Aidan Gillen (HBO’s The Wire) chewing on the tasty, tasty scenery, I’m going to guess his role is beefed up for the screen.
BARRISTAN SELMY (Ian McElhinney): Selmy is the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, which makes him Jaime Lannister’s boss–sort of. Jaime and Barristan have very different ideas about what keeping ones oaths. Though Selmy is getting up there in age (he served two kings before Robert), he’s still a good fighter and loyal to a fault, so he could be a valuable asset to someone.
AT WINTERFELL (House Stark’s stronghold)
THEON GREYJOY (Alfie Allen): Theon was taken as a “ward” by Ned Stark after his father, Balon Greyjoy, rebelled against King Robert. Basically, he is a hostage so his father will behave. While Theon gets along with Robb Stark, he has issues with Ned and can be a brat about it.
RODRIK CASSEL (Ron Donachie): Ser Rodrik is the elderly fellow with the funny white beard that hangs around the Starks. He’s master-at-arms at Winterfell, which means he’s in charge of training the fighters. He will stay at Winterfell when Ned goes south, and spend much of the season protecting Catelyn.
JORY CASSEL (Jamie Sives): Jory is Ser Rodrik’s nephew. He’s a young man and a bit rash. He comes south to King’s Landing with Ned, which was probably a bad life choice.
HODOR (Kristian Nairn): It won’t be hard to identify Hodor; he’s the one who says “Hodor, hodor, hodor” all the time. To use the politically correct term, he is mentally challenged. However he is not physically challenged so he’s good at, say, carrying things and that is darned useful.
OSHA (Natalia Tena): Though she’s known as the woman who plays Tonks in the Harry Potter films, you are not going to see Natalia Tena’s Osha in much of the publicity for “Game of Thrones.” That is because her character doesn’t appear until later in the season. But I will spoil you, if you want: Osha is a wildling (the term for people who live beyond the Wall). She has traveled south because some messed up shit–which you will see in the first 15 minutes of episode one–is going on beyond the Wall. Osha ends up at Winterfell looking after the young Starks, and it’s pretty handy to have a seasoned fighter masquerading as a serving wench sometimes.
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Of course, there will be more characters but you could fill a whole book with descriptions of them (hey, I think George R.R. Martin already did that!). In general, expect a lot of fighting, bloodshed, drama, intrigue, and ice zombies. That’s right, I said ice zombies.
If you’re not as excited as we are yet, watch this 15 minute preview HBO has helpfully provided!
