Lauded by Caitlin Moran in The Times for having a voice “like a jaguar hiding in a cello,” and possessing a name he once described as sounding like a fart in a bath, British actor Benedict Cumberbatch didn’t exactly rise to fame so much as suddenly and unexpectedly hurtle to prominence in the space of an evening some time at the end of last summer.
That’s not to say he hadn’t done stuff before Sherlock made him a recognisable face though. Oh no. Bankability Cumberstick has quite the filmography. Chances are that you’ve probably seen him in something already, you just didn’t realise it at the time. Whether it’s Scarlet Johansson’s useless first husband in The Other Boleyn Girl, the uptight team captain in Starter For 10, William Pitt in Amazing Grace, or even the creepy paedophile rapist in Atonement, he’s been in some pretty big movies and is clearly not afraid to tackle the pathetic, the perverse or even the downright ugly along the way. He’s worked with James McAvoy and Tom Hardy, done his time in bit-parts and docu-dramas, and I’m starting to suspect there’s not a theatre critic left in London who’s not just a little bit in love with him.
Alright, he may not fit the classical mould of matinee idol beefcake, I’ll be the first to admit there’s not many of my countrymen who do, but Butternut Cucumberpatch has an undeniable appeal on screen regardless. There’s a level of intensity coupled with a slightly fascinating oddness (not to mention those purring, Harrow-educated vowels, be still my trembling knees,) that means he has already been immortalised in song by the creative team at weebles-stuff, and really what more could anyone ask for?
He has detractors of course. The Mirror notoriously compared him to the racehorse Shergar, but between pressing my buttons by throwing around references to obscure bits of classical literature, reading innumerable audiobooks and doing ridiculous impressions of Alan Rickman, Queuecutting Bumblepants did take a moment to exhibit some equally appealing self-deprecation on the topic: “The irritating thing is that I’ve always said that myself, and now some journalist has taken credit for it. I looked good in the picture, the horse looked good. What’s the problem?”
Of course if all else fails and my very best arguments will never sway your opinion, there is one other thing you can do. And that’s compete to find the most appalling permutations of his delightfully long-winded name. How about Snufleupagus Brandysnap? Though it must be admitted, I find Frumious Bandersnatch is usually a game-winner…
Benedict Cumberbatch will soon be starring in The National Theatre’s production of Frankenstein, directed by Danny Boyle (viewable by satellite at selected global venues- Check the NTLive website for details) as well as appearing in the new Spielberg adaptation of War Horse and the upcoming Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.
Oh, and in my dirty, dirty fantasies. He’ll be appearing in those a lot as well.
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Lady T
Lady T is a great lover of British TV, which is helpful as that's mostly what she gets to watch. She strongly believes that tea can't be made using a microwave, that children's programming really was better when she was a kid, and that there's nothing in the world that can't be solved with a liberal application of common sense. She very much enjoys reading but like most of the rest of the world would some day like to write a book herself. If she ever succeeds in doing so there's a pretty good chance she'll never shut up about it. She can be contacted at lady_t_220 @ yahoo.co.uk.
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